hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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