I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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