yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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