She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
whose parrot is this?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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