We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
