I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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