shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
