going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
