So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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