Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
