textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize