If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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