I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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