If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
