I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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