I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
