i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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