I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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