just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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