We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Someone shattered a urinal.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
