Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
