i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
