I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize