But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
