I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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