we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
