i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
