does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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