When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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