My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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