White coat. Heels.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Non-Jews are for practice
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
