Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
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Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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