ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
