my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
