even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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