He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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