ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize