She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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