I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
