Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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