so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
