You made me cry and you don't even care
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
