Don't you send me to vm
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
