then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize