I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
