Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
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Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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