Don't make out with my wife yet
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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