dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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