when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He shit in the fireplace
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