don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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