People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My life is pants optional.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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