Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize