you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
