you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
