You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
