Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
