You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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