He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
